Tired

Song of the day:

I’ll let you in on a secret….as much as I appear confident, self-assured, and full of myself, I hate myself.

I hate my mood swings, I hate my voices, I hate my self-doubt, I hate my life some days.

And some days, I’m just so fucking tired of it all.  I’m tired of the constant battle with my mind, with my own body.

Today is one of those days.

And for Christ’s sake, if you read this, don’t ask me about it…I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve talked about it until I’m blue in the face.  It does no good…just makes me feel shittier.

I don’t want to talk about my problems….except here…this is my place to vent, and let loose and say what’s really on my mind.

I’m tired of the daily stress, I’m tired of the ups and downs, I’m tired of being me…I want to be someone, anyone else today.  Can I be Catherine Zeta Jones?  She looks and seems interesting.

Oh yeah….I forgot…she’s battling some of the same damn demons I am.  Why do all the celebrities and musicians I like seem to have the same issues as I do?

There’s an old saying that “crazy knows crazy”, and it seems to be true, cause most of my “close friends” have some kind of mental issue also.

I’m tempted to delete this whole post, or not post it at all, because I hate sounding like a whiny bitch.  That is not who I am.

So I’ll post it…but before I do…as my friend Amy says…I’ll pull up my bootstraps and become the Goddess that I am, and deal with it.

*Deep breath*  There….that’s better.

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